Antennae
by LackOfMonkey
Summary: Zim and Tak's antennae become stuck together by accident. Hilarity ensues, along with something else. ZATR. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Antennae**  
**

**An Invader Zim Fanfiction Composed by:** Cassie J. Bryant

**Main Genre:** Humor.

**Minor Genre(s):** Romance.

_**Ratings/Warnings**_: T (contains content not suitable for children)** - **Fantasy violence, ZATR (Zim and Tak) pairing!**  
**

**Disclaimer:** Invader Zim is copyright to Nickelodeon and Jhonen Vasquez.

**Begin Author Note:** Another fun shortfic in the making! I recently came up with this idea, and although I am not too fond of the pairing, I decided it would be a nice addition to fanfiction! I won't be using my best writing skills on this fanfiction since it is so light-hearted, and the pacing will be a bit faster than how I usually do, but I can still guarantee it is an overall fun fanfiction. I had a few laughs writing it myself. I will do my best to post the next chapter A.S.A.P., but this isn't my main focus at the moment. We'll see how reviews go. I'm also not entirely sure how long this "shortfic" will be. All I know is that it will be short ha-ha. Please enjoy and review! Thank you!

* * *

Chapter One

The panting Irkens sat there, fatigued and tortured by their strenuous attempts to break free. It was no use. They were stuck this way. How long? They didn't know exactly, but they prayed to their Tallests it would be soon.

Tak glared at Zim, "This is all _your_ fault."

But my sincerest apologies, I am getting way too ahead of myself. Let us go back to the origins of this mess, shall we?

* * *

It had been a rather normal morning: a trademark Zim and Dib quarrel, a trademark lecture involving doom performed by Ms. Bitters, and a trademark meat-battle during lunchtime. Yes, all was going according to plan, whatever that plan was, exactly. The humiliated Irken admitted he hadn't come up with any new ideas lately. He had been slacking. He swore the moment he set foot inside his domicile he would scurry to the lab to ignite his evil creativity.

Inside his base all had been normal as well. GIR screamed at the top of his lungs, Minimoose squeaked, and the computer ignored his pathetic existance. Yes, all was as normal as normal could get for Zim.

And _THAT_ was when the doorbell rang.

"GIR! Answer that for me!" Zim ordered. He was too occupied in his lab to answer it himself.

"…KAY!" The cyan-eyed robot obeyed. He answered the door, "HELLO! IS YOU THE CANDYMAN?"

_**BOOM!**_

The thunderous explosion vibrated into Zim's antennae as he jumped from his seat. "EH? What was _that_?"

Rushing to the dismantled living room, he came face-to-face with someone. A someone he thought he had completely eliminated from his life. A someone who had more animosity than ever before. His ruby eyes widened. He stole the first words.

"_TAK_?"

She deviously grinned, "Did you really thi-"

"_TAK_?"

"Did you really thi-"

"_TAK_?"

"Did… you… really… thi-"

"_TAK_?"

"SAY IT AGAIN, ZIM! _SAY IT AGAIN_!" She yelled as frustration overwhelmed her.

_ Silence._

"As I was _SAYING_," Tak constructed her stance, "Did you_ really_ think you could get away from me that easily?"

"Well, uh, yeah, actually. That's kind of why Zim did the whole 'surprise thing'." He answered honestly. Tak blinked. She wasn't anticipating that kind of answer.

"Oh. Well," She paused, "You were wrong! You are just as pathetic as before! Not like I expected anything different from_ you_. Now, Zim, it IS _about _revenge. When I came here I should have destroyed you first and then took your pathetic excuse for a planet. I will not make that mistake this time!"

"You think wrong, Tak!_ Oh so wrong_! I am Zim, Irken Invader, and no one takes my planet but ME!" He glanced at the floor, slyly kicked something, and smirked, "Speaking of which, Zim has already made an ingenious plan that will foil your stupid inferior plan!"

"Oh yeah? And what exactly is that?"

"Step inside and I will show you…" His beam intensified.

Grunting but curious, Tak gradually entered his base. With that, she was waylaid upon an object below her. Stumbling, she collapsed on top of the shorter Irken, and they rolled about the floor, throwing insults as if they were throwing knives at one another. Once their brief predicament was diminished, Zim laid atop his second-worst enemy. Dib being the first, but of course. Can't forget good old Dibby.

Tak spoke, "THAT was your 'evil' plan? Tripping me?"

"It worked, didn't it? I AM GENIUS!" Zim boasted.

"Get off of me!" She ordered once noticing the Irken remained above her.

Without hesitance, Zim agreed. As he cocked his head upward, there was a tug and a sense of pain that infiltrated his body. He struggled to stand up but after several stinging events, he retreated.

"Well…?" Tak was growing impatient. She was unaware of the circumstances.

"I can't." Zim responded blankly.

"What do you mean you can't? Ugh, males. I'll do it then." She forced him to the side and attempted to erect up. What happened to Zim happened to her, "OW! What in the- …what was _that_?"

Zim's eyes directed to their craniums. He gulped as he observed their problem, "Uh… Tak?"

"What is it now?" She was growing impatient.

"We're stuck."

"Stuck? What do you mean 'stuck'?"

"Exactly what Zim means! Look up..."

Focusing above them, her deep-violet eyes grew wide in fear. Their antennae were tangled together, and it appeared to be tied in a decently constricted knot.

"NOOOOOOO-!" Her voice echoed dramatically.

**_Meanwhile, on Neptune…_**

"_OOOOO_!"

"Did you hear that?" Asked a Neptunian.

"Hear what?" Questioned another.

**_Back on Earth…_**

"How could this have happened?" Senses kicking in, Tak glared to her nemesis, "**YOU**! You did this! Untangle us this _instant_!"

"Zim is right ahead of you, Tak-beast!" Zim hissed in retort. He vicariously grabbed both his and her antennae. This touch brought shivers up their spines. The antennae were very sensitive appendages, so contact was usually prohibited to prevent distractions. It was common sense that this scenario was highly pain-inducing for the two Irkens as well.

"H-hurry, Zim," A mix of embarrassment and irritation omitted from the female.

"Silence!" Zim ordered, "Zim is doing the best he can!"

Tak growled, shutting her eyes to cancel out the sensation. Several minutes later, Zim halted.

"It's not doing anything!" He stated.

"You just aren't _trying_ hard enough!" She snapped.

"Nonsense! Zim was trying with his _amazing _brain!" He vied.

"That's it! I'm not giving up until we are free!"

And so, the attempting began.

* * *

**Attempt Number One**

"Okay, Zim, you jump off."

"ZIM isn't jumping off! _You_ jump off!"

"No you!"

"No yo-" Tak kicked him off his own roof. She held her ground while Zim dangled from their intertwined antennae.

"WHY YOU LITTLE-!" Zim began ranting while he swayed back and forth.

Tak's grip on the roof began to progressively release itself. His weight seemed to be increasing to the female, "You're… a lot… heavier… than… I… thought…"

She let go.

"AHHHHHHH!" They both screamed as they fell to the Earth's crust.

**Attempt Number Two**

"_PULL_!"

Both Zim and Tak, who were now gauzed up in bandages, pulled.

"_PULL_!"

Zim and Tak pulled again.

"_PULL_!"

One more try. Suddenly, a popping sound was released as they both completely pulled away.

Zim squeed, "WE'RE FREE! WE'RE FREE! WE'RE-"

Tak viewed the ground, growing pale and nauseous. She caught his attention, "Zim…"

"...FREE! ... Eh? What?"

She pointed to the floor.

Their connected antennae were lying on the ground peacefully. Both Irkens reached to their craniums at the same time. Their appendages were removed from their place.

They screamed in horror and pain.

**Attempt Number Three**

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Tak was unsure. Now, the duo was covered in bandages and their antennae were "glued" back together. The knot still remained, however.

"Of course it is, Tak-beast!" He ignited the blowtorch and slowly made his way to the knot.

They screamed in pain… again.

* * *

The panting Irkens sat there, fatigued and tortured by their strenuous attempts to break free. It was no use. They were stuck this way. How long? They didn't know exactly, but they prayed to their Tallests it would be soon.

Tak glared at Zim, "This is all _your_ fault."

And so the madness began.

_**To Be Continued...**_


	2. Chapter 2

IMPORTANT NOTE: This chapter does contain material that may be considered offensive. Please don't take any of it to heart, or if you are easily offended, discontinue reading! Thank you.

**Title:** Antennae**  
**

**An Invader Zim Fanfiction Composed by:** Cassie J. Bryant

**Disclaimer:** Invader Zim is copyright to Nickelodeon and Jhonen Vasquez.

**Begin Author Note:** Thank you so much for the reviews, guys! I wasn't expecting so many! Here's another fun-filled chapter for you! The ending is rather anti-climatic, for I had writers block, but oh well. I had a lot of fun writing it, and even had a few good laughs, so I do hope you enjoy also! Oh, and please don't ask about the commercial segment. A friend gave me that idea so I decided to throw it in for kicks. Cough. Much love!

* * *

Chapter Two

"This is all _your_ fault." The author wrote for the third time in this fanfiction. Tak continued as she grit her zipper-like teeth, "This _cannot_ be happening! Not to me at least! Now I'm stuck with… with… _you_!"

Zim vexed back, "Do you think I _planned_ for this to happen, Tak-beast?"

"Well if it wasn't for your_ idiotic_ plan to trip me in the first place, this wouldn't be happening right now!" Tak imposed.

"Well if it wasn't for your _stupidity_, you wouldn't have tripped over something right in front of your face! _YOUR FACE_!" Zim wasn't going to give up without a fight.

"Defective!" Tak yelled.

"Stupid!" Zim responded.

"Ugly!" Tak responded.

"Fat!"

"Weird!"

"Uh… _more_ stupid!"

"Pathetic!"

**_5 Hours Later…_**

"Pants!" Zim panted.

"Cheese!" Tak strained.

"And even _more _stupid!" Zim stated.

The two Irkens were running out of both breath and ideas. They both mentally collapsed. All that remained was the sound of their excessive panting.

As awkward silence embraced them, Tak understood what needed to be done: a truce, for now at least. That was the only way they would get out of this predicament, unless she killed him. No, that wouldn't work either. If she killed him, she'd be stuck dragging a corpse everywhere, and corpses are not only a fashion disaster, but they smell after a while, too. The female inhaled, "Well, I'd hate to say this, but arguing won't get us anywhere. We need to at least _try _and get along until we find a way to actually fix this." Shutting her eyes, she forced out her next sentence, "What I'm saying is we have to make a truce."

"Are you saying we have to make a TRUCE?" Zim gasped.

"I_ just_ said th-" Pausing, Tak regained her posture, "Yes. A truce."

"Alright, then. But as soon as we're free, we go back to hating each other!" The male insisted.

"Yes. Most definitely," She agreed. Tak held out her claw, "Truce?"

"Truce." Zim replied, accepting her gesture.

Now that they shook on it, Tak knew they would have to begin accommodating, "Okay. Now we have to figure out how to actually walk without falling."

"Nonsense! Zim already knows how to walk! Nothing stands in the way of ZIM! _Nothing_!" The self-centered Irken took one step forward, and collapsed to the floor, bringing the attached Tak with him.

Tak growled, "As I was_ saying_. We need to work on that."

* * *

"Left. Right. Left. Right. Lef- _OW_! ZIM! That's your_ right_!" Tak reprimanded. The bind Irkens descended to the floor… again…

"Silence! Zim knows his rights from lefts!" He imposed.

"Clearly not!" Tak argued, "We're been doing this for two hours, Zim! Two _**HOURS**_! We should have mastered this by now!"

"I can't believe this," Zim sneered as he crossed his arms. "We better _not _be stuck together forever."

"For…_ever_?" Tak's deep-lavender eye twitched as she imagined a long future connected to her enemy.

**_The Future – Tak's Imagination_**

_Two elderly Irkens were seated in separate rocking chairs. Their antennae were still attached as they slowly rocked outside Zim's base. Both appeared wrinkly and out-dated._

_"Zim," Tak spoke in a raspy voice, "Can you pass me my cane?"_

_"WHAT?" Zim questioned, unable to hear her._

_"Can you pass me my cane?" Tak spoke as she raised her voice._

_"WHAT?"_

_"Can you pass me my cane?"_

_"WHAT?"_

_"CAN YOU PASS ME MY CANE?" Tak screamed this time._

_"NO! I DON'T FEEL THE SAME!" He answered._

_"NO, ZIM! I NEED MY **CANE**!" She replied at the same volume._

_"IT'S GOING TO RAIN?" Zim asked with nervous faded eyes._

_"**NO**!" Tak admitted defeat. She shook her head in agony, "Why has my life become this?"_

_"I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE FROM MASSACHUSETTS!" He replied as he suddenly fell asleep._

_Tak sobbed._

**_Present Time_**

"NOOO!" Tak furiously screamed as the horrifying images burned into her conscience.

"Eh? What?" The male Irken blinked. He had been unaware of her brief daydream.

"Oh, uh, nothing." Tak replied as reality hit her.

"Good. We better finish learning how to do this walk-thing. It is a Skool day tomorrow, and I can't miss any more skooly Skool time." Zim said matter-of-factly.

"Are you kidding me? There's no_ way_ we can go into Skool looking like _this_!"

"Be quiet!" Zim ordered as he grew a keen smirk, "Zim has an idea…"

* * *

Commercial Time!

A tall human in a poorly-crafted alien suit stood before the audience. He appeared overly enticed, "Hi, Kiddies! Manny the Irken here! Aren't you all just having a _wonderful _time reading this fanfiction? _AREN'T YOU? I KNOW I AM_!" He coughed and collected himself, "Anyway, although Zim and Tak seem to be having such a magnificent good ol' time together, please keep in mind that tying antennae together is NOT a good idea! It can cause severe head trauma, STDs, alternate realities, explosive blood-diarrhea, a sudden attraction to hamsters, and most importantly: _**deathhhh**_!" The costumed human creepily lingered over the word "death" for several seconds. The eerie tone in his voice suddenly altered back to his previous excitement, "Death is bad! Please continue to enjoy this fanfiction, and keep in mind: if you don't want to die, don't tie your antennae together! Yay! _Okay, can I have my paycheck now_?"

* * *

The Skool bell obnoxiously rang and the students congregated to their assigned classrooms. Dib was the first to his seat as to prepare himself for another day of alien hunting. The incognito Zim was the last to enter the classroom, accompanied by none other than Tak. The duo awkwardly walked into the room.

"Oh look, a doomed child has returned. How dreadful." Ms. Bitters stated.

Dib's jaw dropped, "_Tak_? What are you doing here?" He then noticed they were intertwined, "And… why are you both attached to each other?"

"Well-" Before Tak could explain, she was interrupted by Zim.

"We have become conjoined twins!" He stated with false pride.

Dib blinked, "WHAT? Are you serious? You can't just '_become'_ conjoined twins!"

"Yes we can!" Zim argued. Tak slapped her forehead; she knew this wasn't going to work.

The large-headed boy turned to his classmates. He attempted to convince them, "C'mon, guys! Are you _really_ going to believe this? This is crazy!"

"_You're_ crazy…" Zita stated from her seat.

"I was a conjoined twin once," Ms. Bitters stated. When no one dared to ask why, she continued, "But then one horrible day she came to the realization that she was a doomed child, and she exploded into an unknown abyss. I never saw her again. The lesson here is that conjoined twins will eventually explode."

"Ms. Bitters," Tak grabbed the attention of the frightening teacher.

"Yes, _Tak_?" She hissed at the pupil's name.

"Uh, where do I sit?" She asked, pointing at Zim's empty seat which only accommodated one person.

"Since you are conjoined now, you must face your pathetic destiny and sit in the same seat together," The teacher stated.

"Couldn't I just grab an empty desk over there and put ours together?" Tak asked. She wished to keep as much distance possible from her nemesis.

_Silence_

"No." Ms. Bitters answered curtly, "Now **SIT DOWN AND STOP TALKING**!"

With a sigh, Zim and Tak ineptly worked their way to his desk. They struggled to place both their bosoms onto the puny chair, but it resulted in utter failure. They nudged each other until Tak finally pushed him off the desk. Zim snarled.

"WHY YOU LITTLE-" Halting, Zim looked about the room and observed the watching students. He quickly resorted to patting Tak on the head, "-I mean, uh, good normal conjoined twin. Heh Heh."

Tak glared at her partner. And to think this was only the beginning...

_**To Be Continued...**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Antennae**  
**

**An Invader Zim Fanfiction Composed by:** Cassie J. Bryant

**Disclaimer:** Invader Zim is copyright to Nickelodeon and Jhonen Vasquez.

**Begin Author Note:** Once again, much appreciation for the wonderful reviews! I can't believe I am getting such wonderful feedback! I believe chapter 4 will be the conclusion to this fanfiction. Overall, this chapter is rather short, but there is slight fluff so I am sure that makes up for it! This chapter isn't as funny as the two previous ones, either, but it still has its moments. I'm tired. I need to stop being sleep deprived. But my occupation is a nurse, so that is expected. They should put "sleep deprived" under a nurse's job description. I received a call at three in the morning being asked to come in because the hospital was understaffed. I cried the whole way over. I apologize, I need to stop ranting. Please enjoy! There will be more soon once I stop being sleep deprived!

* * *

Chapter 3

The connected Irkens entered Zim's domicile, pleased with their first day together.

"I can't believe they actually_ fell_ for that!" Tak remarked as she deactivated her holographic disguise.

"Of_ course_ they fell for it! Who _wouldn't_ fall for such an amazing plan?" Zim questioned as he stripped his wig and contacts.

"Anyone who's not an idiot," She answered matter-of-factly.

"HI! YOU'S JUST IN TIME FOR THE _WAFFLES_!" GIR exclaimed as he made his entrance. He held a plate of steamy waffles in his metallic hands.

"Wait a second. Didn't you _explode_ when I destroyed the entrance to Zim's base?" Tak questioned, surprised that GIR was now in perfect condition (well… as perfect condition as GIR could get, but that's beside the point).

"I did! IT WAS _GREAT_!" GIR cheered, "I WANNA EXPLODE _AGAIN_!"

"Squeak!" Minimoose squeaked because the author wanted to place Minimoose in the scene.

"Hey, wait a second…" Zim's crimson eyes swelled in fury as he finally realized the front of his base was in shambles, "MY BASE! MY _BEAUTIFUL BASE_!"

"Took you long enough to notice that…" The attached female stated, amazed by her counterpart's stupidity. He really couldn't be _that_ dumb, could he?

Yes, he could.

Ignoring Tak's provoking statement, Zim summoned his computer, "_COMPUTER_! Fix this mess!"

"No." The computer curtly answered.

"Eh? No...? What do you mean 'NO'?" The short Irken became infuriated.

"I don't wanna."

"_I DON'T WANNA_!" GIR imitated in a higher pitch.

"What do you mean you 'don't wanna'? What is this **foolishness** you give to ZIM? You have no choice! _Fix it_!" Zim commanded as he pointed to the entrance.

In response, a thick tube detached itself from the ceiling. After several vibrations, construction tools exited from the tube's opening. They fell to the floor directly in front of Tak and Zim. Both Irkens cocked a non-existent eyebrow as they observed the inferior tools.

"You do it," The computer answered.

"EH? WHAT? …Computer!"

No response.

"COMPUTER!"

Still no response.

"COMPUT-_ER_!"

Nope. No response.

"ARGH!" Zim "arghed".

"Well, it looks like you're going to have to fix the base yourself," The female concluded.

"You mean 'we'," Zim vied with narrow eyes.

With a grunt, the two Irkens synonymously reached for the instruments. The tube then deposited two yellow construction hats. "You're going to need these, too," The computer declared.

* * *

The duo went straight to work on repairing Zim's base. All seemed to be going well until the male utilized the hammer. Every time Zim clobbered a nail into the wall, their antennae tugged, which caused excruciating pain for the female.

"_Ow_! Zim! Can you stop that?" Tak moaned as she dropped the woodpile she was holding.

"Silence! Zim is trying to make things!" Zim responded as he sustained working.

"You can '_make things'_ without having to pull on my antennae!" Tak hissed. Disinterested, Zim continued to yank and she screeched in pain, "OW! STOP! …_ STOP_!" She finally had enough with his antics, "I SAID…" The plum-eyed Irken pushed Zim forward,

"_**STOP**_!"

With that, both Irkens collapsed to the ground. Tak accidentally landed directly on top of her pre-rival. She paused for a brief moment as she watched Zim gradually regain consciousness. As her face began to flush, she frantically pulled her head upward, causing Zim to shift with her. She sensed his lips travel near hers, and she maneuvered herself away from him with a harsh slap across his face. He didn't get too far, for they were still bound to one another.

"OW! What was _THAT _for?" Zim questioned for he was unaware of their close encounter. He rubbed his now-throbbing cheek.

"Nothing! It was nothing! I SAID IT WAS NOTHING! _IT WAS NOTHING_!" Tak panicked in defense as she struggled to collect herself.

"OKAY! OKAY! _OKAY_! ZIM GETS IT!" Zim yelled back, "You don't have to get defensive!"

"I'M _NOT_ GETTING DEFENSIVE!"

"YES YOU ARE!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

"YES YOU ARE!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

"NO YOU _AREN'T_!"

"YES I AM!" Tak paused and blinked, "_Gah_! How did I_ fall_ for that?"

"It's because I am ingenious!" Zim exclaimed proudly, "Enough of this! Let us go back to fixing the base! We should be done within a couple more hours…"

For the rest of the night, the Irkens worked intricately as Tak periodically felt her eyes shift to his lips.

_**To Be Continued...**_


	4. Chapter 4  The End

**Title:** Antennae**  
**

**An Invader Zim Fanfiction Composed by:** Cassie J. Bryant

**Disclaimer:** Invader Zim is copyright to Nickelodeon and Jhonen Vasquez.

**Begin Author Note:** I am so pleased that this fanfiction is receiving such wonderful feedback! Once again, I feel this chapter doesn't have enough humor, but I did my best, since that is the main genre to this piece. This chapter covers a lot of the jokes that I just absolutely love. For example, in the beginning of this chapter, we have Tak and Zim's aftermath of apparently some really badass battle, but we don't know what actually happened. I just LOVE the concept of seeing the ending to something that we are completely unaware of. It's just... what's the word... funny! The ending, in my opinion, is quite funny too. Clueless people, I salute you. I also salute Invader Catty, Zim'sMostLoyalServant, RoboticMasterMind, DollAnnie, That One Random Kid, Insomniac Goddess123, The Doctor Zim, Invader Lyric, Tacos are the BEST, XxInvaderxEllasanaxX, Invader Kit, sassyfras, It was all a PUZZLE, XxDoomygrlxX, 2 be loved, and mrkillington for all your amazing reviews! I'm sorry to have this be the last chapter, but it was a shortfic, so I warned you ha-ha. Please enjoy the last chapter, everyone! Thank you so much!

P.S. I'm still sleep deprived. Oh, and there's a sexism joke in this chapter, but since I am a female, I am allowed to use it ha-ha.

* * *

Chapter 4

Covered in battle scars, the intertwined Tak and Zim entered his now-repaired base. Their excessive panting and smoking bodies indicated that they had experienced a brawl of some sort. Slowly, they traveled to Zim's couch and crashed onto the cushions. Both Irkens enjoyed the relaxation.

Once they caught their breath, Tak was the first to speak, "That was _insane_!"

"I KNOW! It's a good thing the author didn't write that daring battle scene between us and the ninja robot bees. I don't think the readers could have withstood its almightiness!" Zim responded.

"That's for sure," Tak agreed.

The female Irken paused as reality set in. Were they actually… getting along? She immediately resorted to another topic, "Then again, if it wasn't for my dodging abilities, you would have _surely_ been blown to bits by the bees' laser vision."

Zim frowned, "Nonsense, Tak-beast! If it wasn't for my SUPERIOR skills as an Invader, you would have been eaten alive by those Irken-eating alligators! It is all thanks to ZIM!"

"You're not even an Invader, you know that, Zim?" Tak grunted as she recollected her dark memory, "_I'm_ the one who should have been the Invader. But I was sent to DIRT thanks to you! You're nothing but a joke! All I ever wanted was to be an Invader, and you took that one thing from me! THAT ONE… THING! And what for? A vile _snack_! A stupid Irken and a stupid vending machine ruined my life! And what happens now? I am stuck with you, no matter what!"

"You know what you have in common with the female human-smellies?" Zim asked.

Tak glared, "What?"

"You both talk too much," He answered.

"How _DARE_ you!" Tak sneered, appalled by his statement.

"Zim only says the truth! Your talking annoys my brain!" The false Invader remarked. Looking around, he continued, "Speaking of my intelligent brain, I need to work on my next evil plan." He paused, "…_TAK_! Leave me as I create an evil plan that will destroy the filthy human race!"

"You're a fool, you know that?" The violet-eyed female said.

"Eh?"

"I'M STUCK TO YOU! REMEMBER YESTERDAY? OR ARE YOU REALLY THAT INEPT?" She blasted as her eye twitched. She finally snapped.

"Oh yeah. Right," He remembered as he moved his claw to his chin, "Um… well… then don't listen!"

"Zim! I am not even a_ foot_ apart from you!"

"What does that have to do with you not _LISTENING_?"

"_EVERYTHING_!" Tak screamed, "Besides, I wouldn't use any of your pathetic world domination plans anyway! They're probably stupid!"

"They are** NOT** stupid! They are the opposite of stupid!" Zim vied, "Zim shall show you! To the LAB!"

* * *

"… And then all of the ice cream will come alive and _THEN _transform into mind eating Nanobots which will eat the human brain meats and _THEN_ they will be replaced with sporks! SPORKS I SAY!" Zim explained as he burst into malicious laughter.

_Silence._

"That… was the most idiotic plan I have ever heard." Tak responded, "I think my PAK actually lost data. What on _Irk_ makes you think that plan will actually succeed?"

"Because the plan has sporks in it! IT CANNOT FAIL ME!" The meek Irken answered.

"GROUP HUG!" GIR screamed as he suddenly jumped on the two disagreeing Irkens. Startled and unable to catch themselves on time, they collapsed to the floor.

Everything went black.

* * *

_**Cue action music.**_

_Oh NO! WHAT WILL HAPPEN? Will Zim and Tak be okay? Who will die? Who WON'T die? Will there be more skits of ZATR-ness? Will the world really end? Will the robot ninja bees come back and force the author to write an intense battle scene that would require strenuous details? Or will they not because the author is too lazy? FIND OUT IN… THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH!_

* * *

"GIR! WHAT did I say about hugging?" A male voice omitted in the blackness. A high-pitched mechanical voice responded.

"Wait! I know this one! It's um… uh… um…" Pause. "…Cake!"

"No, GIR! That's _wrong_! You just lost your piggy privileges!" The voice stated as it became crisp.

"NO! MY PIGGIES! _ANYTHING BUT THE PIGGIES_!" The robot screeched.

As everything became apparent, Tak fully regained consciousness. She glanced and realized they were currently residing on Zim's rosy couch in the living room.

"Uugh, what? What happened?" She questioned with a groggy voice.

"GIR here decided to 'hug' us. How I hate the hugs! Apparently we fell on our backs because we blacked out. Our PAKs must have received a pretty rough impact. I decided to bring you up here until you woke up. But all is good now. **FOR I AM ZIM**!" The cocky Irken explained.

Sitting up straight, Tak blinked. Epic action music began to vibrate throughout her antennae. "Where did this action music come from?"

"I don't know. It's been playing for a while."

GIR began to dance to the tune of the action music (dancing to action music?). Briefly after Zim's remark, the music diminished.

_**End action music.**_

"Aww. I loved that song…" GIR sobbed.

"_FINALLY_! It's gone!" Zim cheered, "I was wondering when that would go away! Success for Zim!"

"Eh… heheheh…" The female suddenly cackled. After a few subtle gasps for breath, she finally exploded into full-blown laughter. Tears began to dispense from her deep purple eyes as she was unable to control herself.

"What? What's funny?" Zim asked in half bewilderment and half annoyance.

"You're… you're…" Through the gasps, Tak struggled to regain her posture. After several seconds of snickering, she answered, "You're just so… stupid! It's amusing how dimwitted you actually are! I can't even begin to describe ho-"

Interrupting herself, Tak suddenly sensed an unknown pressure pushing down on her hand. She went to examine the source, only to find that the culprit was none other than Zim's hand. He gripped onto her gloved claw tightly. The female raised a non-existent eyebrow, "Zim? What are you-"

That's all it took for Zim to make his move. He forced his lips onto hers. Tak jumped back in shock, but it wasn't enough for the two to separate from Zim's gesture. A warm feeling churned inside her squeedlyspooch. This was nothing she had felt before. It was as if a jolt of electricity had pierced her from the bottom up. Her tense form finally relaxed as they remained in their lock for several elongated seconds.

When he finally let go, Tak couldn't help but want more.

"W-what was…?" Tak stuttered as she was unable to finish her inquiry.

"HEY! It worked!" Zim exclaimed proudly as he touched his cranium.

Tak peered up and her orbs swelled.

Their antennae were free.

"NOW, _Tak-beast_! I guess you should be going now!" The ruby-eyed Irken pointed to the demented door.

"Yes. Right," Tak responded. As she sat up from her seat, she hesitantly walked towards the exit. She felt herself trembling. She reached for the doorknob, halted, and then sighed. She couldn't do it. The plum-eyed female turned back around to face the Irken she had just kissed, "You know… Zim."

"Yes…?" He dragged out.

Her face flushed as she moved closer to him, "I don't… _HAVE_ to go, you know…"

Zim was perplexed, "And why wouldn't you?"

The tint in her skin intensified, "Well… uh… what I'm trying to say is…"

"Yes?" Zim was clueless.

"Well…"

"Yes?"

"What I'm trying to say is…"

"What is it? _Tell meeee_!"

Actions speak louder than words. She gently reached for one of Zim's antennae. With her free claw, she grabbed one of her own. Sincerely looking into Zim's ruby eyes, she tied the two antennae together in a loose knot. Tak smiled from her hint. Zim's mouth dropped.

"_**WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT**_?" He screamed in agony.

She slapped her forehead.

**The End.**


End file.
